A Quick Craft Series On Sentences

Those Awkward Clumsy Sentences: #1

The Passive Voice:

Your goat wrecked my garden – versus – My garden was wrecked by your goat.

Ready For Direct Action

When does the passive voice work? Perhaps when we wish to emphasize an institution or a stock way of thinking or speaking. An example might be The Greeks were enslaved by the Romans, rather than The Romans enslaved the Greeks. The forms must be properly filled out, rather than Fill out these forms carefully.

In these two examples, the writer is standing away from strong writing, and should only do so if she is writing comically, as if quoting a clunky textbook or mocking bureaucratic instructions.

The passive voice can also work when it portrays character. To make a speech was too much for Herman versus Herman wouldn't or couldn't make the speech.

SAJ's Opinion: Use of the passive voice and layered-on language can make the writer sound timid and unwilling to offend or take a stand. Ignorance might be considered a standard for people who believe whites are inherently better Versus Racists are nearly always ignorant. Does the writer have something to say, or not?

disclosure - This set of examples is directly borrowed from The New Strategy of Style by Weathers and Winchester or built upon.