A Quick Craft Series On Sentences
- Scott Archer Jones
- May 11
- 1 min read
Those Awkward Clumsy Sentences: #3
Introductory Clauses with infinite (“ing”) verbs:
Temporal Dislocation — Sentences that are in two times at once. These constructions should be considered guilty until proven innocent. An example that causes a temporal dislocation is: Mucking out the horses, she logged into Facebook.Similarly: Finishing a book sure to win the Pulitzer, he pulled out the damp socks from the washer and threw them in the dryer. An example that approaches physical impossibility is: Screaming at the fox in the chicken coop, Alphonse woefully whispered, “Another damn hen done gone.”
Many infinite-verb phrases originate as the writer attempts to vary sentence structure. The poor writer begins with: The Principal dragged his phone across his paperwork. He looked at Johnny standing on the other side of the desk. He sighed. Taking these clunky sentences to infinite-verb form does not appreciably improve the writing: Reaching for his phone and looking at Johnny, the Principal sighed.
It's better to consider compound and complex sentence forms (and better verbs), such as: The Principal, resignation stamped on every gesture, fished his phone out of the papers on his desk while Johnny stood there unrepentant. “I should put you on speed-dial, son. Do you want me to call your mother or your father?” Sorry for the extra two sentences in dialogue—there was a story to be told.
disclosure - The set of rhetorical classes and bad sentence types is directly borrowed from The New Strategy of Style by Weathers and Winchester, but the examples are from Scott.
I (and others) can tell you how to write -- that's craft. I can't tell you what to write -- that's imagination. And I can't tell you TO write -- that's desire, and the opposite of the writer's block you mention.
OMG So much to writing, I didn't know. Now I understand why Writer's block! :)